Its hurt..

When someone you thought who can be a person that you share everything with turn to be someone who cant. Someone who don't understand how much you love doing things you love. Who don't proud with what you proud with.

When the person got angry with you when you start to argue with him because you are feeling down by his words.

When you try to show how you feel when he said something that hurt you, even a bit but he get annoyed by your action. He once told you to share what you feel, tell him what, how you feel but when you show it, and telling you the reason for being moody he don't like it.

Do you really want to know my feeling? Then, why you act like this? Why you get angry with me? I know, I am always be an oversensitive person, and hurt you by acting moody to you. Do you realize the reason for me to be moody? It is because of your words..Even it not purposely said to hurt me, but it cuts me. Im sorry for taking your words so much more than its means. Maybe i just weak, but it hurts me.

We had some fight yesterday. Its because of i got hurt by his words. He asked me, "whats on your mind? Do you think I ever have any intention to hurt your feeling? Why you have to misunderstood what I am saying?" Again, maybe im weak. I told him.." I dont know, its that what i felt, its just in some issues i can be really really oversensitive, Im sorry for being oversensitive, and i hurt you" I apologize to him because i know that i hurt him by misunderstanding his words. And at the same time, I ignore how hurt my feelings are when he dont want to know why i be such sensitive on the issue. What happened to me that made me such sensitive..he never ask. Or what i had been through that had turned me to be such sensitive. I know i hurt him, but didnt he realize that I was hurt too? I wont easily get moody if he didnt say anything that cut me. I wont get moody if i am not hurt. I tried to show him what i feel, show him that i got hurt by his words that he didnt even mean it. So next time he will watch what he gonna say to me. But, he did not get it. He told me that i always being such sensitive. And he getting tired with our conversation where we always fight.

I am feeling very sad. He dont know what I'd been through in my life. What I'd been witnessed in my life. Along the conversation, i keep apologizing to him. I dont want to fight anymore. I ignore how hurt i was and said sorry again and again. But he keep saying everything he had feel and think about me all these time, all that he had keep for long. He didnt show any sign to stop, and i give up from apologizing and said" ok, just tell me everything that you been keeping, tell me" I was hurt so deep that night. He told me evrything. He said about one of my annoying attitude for him which i like to argue,yes i was a debater, I really love to argue on an issue, he said if you want to have an argument go find someone else. Do you know how hurts i was at the moment? When your interest, something that your proud with, was teased like that. I never argue with you about other things. And i never purposely start a conversation in order to have an argument. And you said like that? seriously it cut me.

I really give up on fighting so i just agree with everything he told me. I dont have to back up myself because it will hurt him. I choose to ignore my feeling to please him. Something i never do before. Me, a person who will always at least backup myself when i am accused with something.

Along the conversation,(oh, we had a conversation through chatroom) i cried. Because its really hurt me.