Butterball.

I am sure i got many things playing in my head.

These few days and weeks Im not writing here, sure i got plenty to write right now. Just get a bit busy with exams before, some college problems and with my other blogs. Its about three weeks of my semester break and one week left before I have to back to college for the first semester of my second year.

Hello there..ive been missing my other self Emily. I sound a bit crazy right? My alter ego, Emily.

Let tell us about yourself, please.

Hi there, I will only appear when i am forced to show myself out. I am quite sure no one really know the other me. When she got depressed and got no where to tell her heart out, I will appear to help here, to give her some relief. Or Anytime, when she got som

ething to share but no one to hear. I will appear.

I am always wearing a same colour of dress. A red one. Or s

ometimes a anything dark. Because that is what her feelin

gs tell me. I wearing black legging or s

ometimes long black socks. Wearing oxford shoes with heels or without. Long dark brown hair with fringe. I am exist.

And let we have some read on a true story, told by a friend to me, come, come closer..let me tell you....

"I get depressed lately.

And what i about to tell you is something that i'd been keeping for a very long time.

Have you ever facing a group of people who want to have some joke with you and jokes turn to making fun of you and finally its something that hurting you. In easy words, when people make fun of you. I dont know, I am sure i am not fat. I just a bit chubby. But, after i get in to my new college here, I make new friends

both girls and boys whom most of them are skinny, with great body figure.

Is it wrong to be a bit chubbier than them? Why my friends before this never tease me like they did? Dont they know there are some limitation in communication. Dont they learnt how to socialize properly. Where a win-win conversation can be

made?

Its hard to admit this. But deep inside i hate them for being

so rude to me. Maybe we had fun time before, but I cant lie to myself how much i hate them hurting me by teasing me fat just beca

use i am not as skinny as them. Last night, one of them post a comment on my picture, a picture i thought that i look just fine, he commented"f..t"..Seriously, i lost my confidence on my own

self. I didnt approve the comment.

They always tease me when we

hang out at any restaurant. "Are you seriously just eating that, why dont you order some more?" When i order something similar like them i still get teased for eati

ng a lot. Just because i am chubbier, is it wrong to eat or not eat. Maybe there are some people that also been called "big eater". But when the person you called like that is someone who is obviously different from them in term of body size, its really hurt. Its not im not accepting the reality, but i did ask some people is i really considered as fat? All the answer i got are, no, you just a bit fleshy.

My college got some problem lately, and most of them are moving. Thank God, I've been grateful for that. I dont need you guys at all.I dont need you guys if you just exist to hurt me. I can have fun with other people who know how to be a good friend. A real good friend.

Why you guys still cant think the reason why I did not come with you guys to hang out lately? Because i dont having any fun with you guys anymore. Why should i waste my time, my energy, my money on something

i dont like?

Yes, i said i gonna miss you guys after this, what a liar. I think i will m

iss you guys a bit, but i being relief more than being sad. Because no one gonna tease me anymore. I need a true friend, which I already have, my old frien

ds who really know how to be a friend. I dont need a new friend just to hurt me."Look? Does her look fat? This a real picture of her,without any editing.

Now, do you understand why she got real mad and sad when she been teasing fat, just because she is not as skinny as a model?